Story: Ms. Neptune

Not all art comes from a inner yearning to make a statement on the human condition. Sometimes you just need a cool business card.

Ms. Neptune is one of most popular pieces in spite of being art for the sake of business. The story behind the piece just isn't that interesting but the situation around getting the business cards printed was, well, colorful.

I drew the piece while at the restaurant that shall not be named. While there one of the guys that worked there spotted me drawing. He made a series of not so great suggestions along with some basic albeit valuable advice. He told me that as an artist, I needed a business card and that he knew a guy who could do that.

Oh boy. Did he knew a guy. This guy was a parody of man. A sex creep with the subtley of a Family Guy character. Word on the street is he used to make adult films. I don't doubt it. He couldn't go more than 30 seconds without either mentioning that he was Jewish or hitting on me. I got a good deal on the business cards, but on the way out he suggested that we should have lunch. I didn't want to and then he confirmed exactly why.

I forgot the exact phrasing, but he was persistent in his attempt to go out for a "business" lunch. As I carried the pack of business cards out, he said in a joking voice about how next time we met, he'd like to "sip something" into my drink and have his way with me.

One year later, I now get my things printed at Boulder Fine Art Reproduction. The paper quality is far superior and unlike this creep, the hippyish owner acts like a professional.